I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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