It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
