I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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