he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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