i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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