Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
His nipple licking is glorious
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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