I think my vagina is haunted
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
