...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
