I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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