No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
