Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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