He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
