and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
