this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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