More tranny stories later!
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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