If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize