Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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