And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
