Your mouth is God's brothel.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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