Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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