Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i now understand why vodka
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
