is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
