How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
