My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
