I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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