No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
