He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
