Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
