dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He felt like a one man threesome
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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