she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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