You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
