apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
