Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
