i just had sex bonerless
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
