you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
