I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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