Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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