Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
