Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize