I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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