does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
