Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
