ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There's always time for handjobs
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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