i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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