i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
