Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
