I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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