He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize