so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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