yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
