Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
