Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize