Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
