Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
two words: eviction party
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
