she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
