Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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