i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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