I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize