a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
