who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize